withoutaface
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- 2004
That's if you were planning to split your condom and possibly make her pregnant...Greenwood said:you could always use olive oil
That's if you were planning to split your condom and possibly make her pregnant...Greenwood said:you could always use olive oil
Remember guys, only water based lubricants for latex condoms.withoutaface said:That's if you were planning to split your condom and possibly make her pregnant...
damn u! mine was crap! damn pain...django_ said:hehe yeh if i could have my first time all over again id love to cuz it was so nice hee hee
AsyLum said:Way to bring back a dead thread
It would've been okay if his post was legible and wasn't shit.AsyLum said:Way to bring back a dead thread
you can change the options down the bottom of the screen so you can see as far back as you like.Comrade nathan said:How was he even able to revive this thread? The latest threads are from a month.
Jackpot......................jumb said:you can change the options down the bottom of the screen so you can see as far back as you like.
hence the need for a visual comfirmation when proceding on a vector for dockingKomaticom said:Are you sure you rammed the right hole? Because there's two, and they're pretty close together...
How can u doom it if ur first "sort of time" was a bad experience....at least actually do it before u can doom it...taxman said:Thanks to the almighty New Year's Eve thang, I kinda sorta had my first time...only I found how fucking awful sex can really be.
The girl I was with was someone I completely trusted and care about...we've been friends for a while, and it got to the point where the sexual tension was like....stabbing, with the blood and the string and the mehay!
Anyway, the series of unfortunate events starting pretty damn fine. I'd gone down on her and had her rolling, which I was like, so stoked about...but after she came we got to the sex bit...me with an incredibly sore jaw.
Condom #1: This condom I'd had for a while (I'm an optimist) and I was sittin there wrestling with the fuckin thing, trying to get it on and it was being a total bitch and decided that "Hey dude...I'm not gonna fit. You know how much it sucks to be a condom? Eat shit dickhead." So the condom was like, not going anywhere...I even tried putting it on the wrong way.....hey, it was worth a try. So I fucked that one off, and the girl I was with had another one.
Condom #2: Hey! Success. It was on, I was ready, she was ready. It now comes to insertion....and this is where it totally fell to bits. I...didn't fit. I was a pushin and she was a in pain, so I stopped. Then tried again slowly and she almost screamed. So she jumped on top with a pillow wrapped around her face and tried again...no fit.
So we stopped, she tried gettin me off, but the taxman's winkie faded into nothing...a bare memory of he once was. So we layed there and fell asleep....while she tried boosting my ego by telling me she has sex a lot and she's surprised I didn't fit. Well, that part worked...but as far as sex goes, it sucks.
Doom to sex! Doom to it all night long, down by the fire...with boobs....and...and....hey...anybody around here want sex?
exactly....nick1048 said:sex is fun... your just not doing it right
she is a fucking lying virgin and you are a fucking salamitaxman said:Thanks to the almighty New Year's Eve thang, I kinda sorta had my first time...only I found how fucking awful sex can really be.
The girl I was with was someone I completely trusted and care about...we've been friends for a while, and it got to the point where the sexual tension was like....stabbing, with the blood and the string and the mehay!
Anyway, the series of unfortunate events starting pretty damn fine. I'd gone down on her and had her rolling, which I was like, so stoked about...but after she came we got to the sex bit...me with an incredibly sore jaw.
Condom #1: This condom I'd had for a while (I'm an optimist) and I was sittin there wrestling with the fuckin thing, trying to get it on and it was being a total bitch and decided that "Hey dude...I'm not gonna fit. You know how much it sucks to be a condom? Eat shit dickhead." So the condom was like, not going anywhere...I even tried putting it on the wrong way.....hey, it was worth a try. So I fucked that one off, and the girl I was with had another one.
Condom #2: Hey! Success. It was on, I was ready, she was ready. It now comes to insertion....and this is where it totally fell to bits. I...didn't fit. I was a pushin and she was a in pain, so I stopped. Then tried again slowly and she almost screamed. So she jumped on top with a pillow wrapped around her face and tried again...no fit.
So we stopped, she tried gettin me off, but the taxman's winkie faded into nothing...a bare memory of he once was. So we layed there and fell asleep....while she tried boosting my ego by telling me she has sex a lot and she's surprised I didn't fit. Well, that part worked...but as far as sex goes, it sucks.
Doom to sex! Doom to it all night long, down by the fire...with boobs....and...and....hey...anybody around here want sex?