what to do? (2 Viewers)

beergirl

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I need help:

One of my friends has been allegedly cheating on her bf, who is also one of my friends. Anyways we always thought they would be together forever, but there has been this other guy that she has been interested in (a physical attraction) that she has been telling me about. At a party the other night one of my friends told me that she saw them together and that there is now some evidence to prove that my friend was cheating.

Ok, so what do i do? Is it up to me to tell the guy that she has been cheating or what? The guy doesn't deserve it. Also, her last bf was flirting with someone and she thought that that was grounds to break up. I told her that she was applying double standards, but she doesnt get it.

So should i stay out of it?
If you knew someone was cheating on a friend are you obliged to tell them?

I dont know what to do!
 

agent_angel

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i personally believe u shouldnt tell the guy. the odds of him getting more pissed off at the girl r heaps higher and u dont want to make the situation worse. howeva he has a right to no if his girl is cheating on him. so u should talk to ur chick mate and ask her to explain the situation to u. if she is cheating u hav to get her to tell him
 

super katie

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I think you need to make sure something is actually going on before you decide to do anything. Ultimately I think its up to her to tell him and I think he should really hear it from her rather than you but it is a really difficult situation to be in
 

Demandred

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I hope your not talking about the party on friday night/last day of school, I witnessed the same thing...
 

tattoodguy

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Your friend is a total loooser. People who cheat are scum, if they would cheat on their partner im sure they wouldnt hesitate to lie, cheat and steal from you.

Dont lower your standards by betraying them, but keeep them at a distance, having friends that cheat is just a recipe for disaster i recon.

But dont tell, its not your place to get involved, you should just mind your own business.
 

Loz#1

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It's none of your business and you got "told" she was cheating so in actual fact, you have no evidence yourself. Stay out of it is my advice.
 

Ziff

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Whinge whinge. How old are you? 4? Gotta go taddle do you? "Oh no! He said a swear!!!"

Here's an idea, keep your gossipy mouth shut before you cause trouble for people.

Typical righteous BS.
 

glycerine

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I agree. I understand why you would be concerned for your friend, but in all honesty, it's hearsay and you shouldn't get involved in other people's dramas. Your heart is in the right place, however, it's not your place to be a gossip.
 

baby_b

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ok see this is where i always get labeled the 'baddy'

ie... if i was in ur position i would tell a that frend and then everyone would think it was my fault that they broke up.

but .. i think of it this way.. if my frends found out my bf was cheating on me, i know i would want to know, and i know i would get angry at them for not telling me because they thought it was ' none of their business'

true frends look out for eachother
 

truly-in-bliss

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Loz#1 said:
It's none of your business and you got "told" she was cheating so in actual fact, you have no evidence yourself. Stay out of it is my advice.
good advice :p


Ziff said:
Whinge whinge. How old are you? 4? Gotta go taddle do you? "Oh no! He said a swear!!!"

Here's an idea, keep your gossipy mouth shut before you cause trouble for people.

Typical righteous BS.
y so worked up?
 

AsyLum

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truly-in-bliss said:
y so worked up?
thats what im wondering :S

If you had proof, IF, then id tell the guy, trust me, him finding out from anyone else will make him angrier than if a friend told him.

But since you dont, be alert, but not alarmed.
 

_muse_

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ok, this happened to me, and being the loud mouth person that i am, i went off at my friend, saying that i saw the whole thing (which i did) n that what she was doing was wrong, and that if she really loved her boyfriend, she would tell him because he didn't deserve to be treated like crap... that way he didnt find out off someone else.. but that's just one of my stories, whether u learn anything from it, like what to do or whatever is a bonus :)
 

eLmo

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I think its always good for friends to be honest with each other, I mean if your own friends won't tell you the truth who will?
...I'd only take action if you have solid proof that there is some cheating going on, otherwise you'll just be stirring it up in the wrong place.
 

reptile

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...

Hello, I'm the 'slut' who cheated on her boyfriend...Hi Tash...
First of all, yes, I got with him at that party on Friday night. I was drunk, and that's no excuse because I would've done it otherwise.
Secondly, I did it because I was not happy with Tim, for a number of reasons:
1. I don't need his emotional crap while I'm trying to study for my HSC
2. I don't love him....I thought I did, but I don't. I can't help the way I feel.
3. I also can't help the way I feel about my friend. We're both attracted to each other...more than that...we're 'special friends'...I like it that way.

I broke up with Tim on Saturday night. I didn't tell him about Friday night because it would hurt him even more...Sure he deserves honesty, but I know what it feels like to be in this situation...'Do unto others what has been done to you' I didn't want to hurt Tim, but I've been burned before...Tim just happened to be next in the firing line. I didn't want this to happen...I can't help the way I feel about my friend. If that means you hate me, well then you weren't my real friend to begin with.
 

Loz#1

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reptile said:
Hello, I'm the 'slut' who cheated on her boyfriend...Hi Tash...
First of all, yes, I got with him at that party on Friday night. I was drunk, and that's no excuse because I would've done it otherwise.
Secondly, I did it because I was not happy with Tim, for a number of reasons:
1. I don't need his emotional crap while I'm trying to study for my HSC
2. I don't love him....I thought I did, but I don't. I can't help the way I feel.
3. I also can't help the way I feel about my friend. We're both attracted to each other...more than that...we're 'special friends'...I like it that way.

I broke up with Tim on Saturday night. I didn't tell him about Friday night because it would hurt him even more...Sure he deserves honesty, but I know what it feels like to be in this situation...'Do unto others what has been done to you' I didn't want to hurt Tim, but I've been burned before...Tim just happened to be next in the firing line. I didn't want this to happen...I can't help the way I feel about my friend. If that means you hate me, well then you weren't my real friend to begin with.
Are we supposed to believe this shit? Take your emotional/relationship problems somewhere preferrably offline?
 

AsyLum

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reptile said:
Hello, I'm the 'slut' who cheated on her boyfriend...Hi Tash...
First of all, yes, I got with him at that party on Friday night. I was drunk, and that's no excuse because I would've done it otherwise.
Secondly, I did it because I was not happy with Tim, for a number of reasons:
1. I don't need his emotional crap while I'm trying to study for my HSC
2. I don't love him....I thought I did, but I don't. I can't help the way I feel.
3. I also can't help the way I feel about my friend. We're both attracted to each other...more than that...we're 'special friends'...I like it that way.

I broke up with Tim on Saturday night. I didn't tell him about Friday night because it would hurt him even more...Sure he deserves honesty, but I know what it feels like to be in this situation...'Do unto others what has been done to you' I didn't want to hurt Tim, but I've been burned before...Tim just happened to be next in the firing line. I didn't want this to happen...I can't help the way I feel about my friend. If that means you hate me, well then you weren't my real friend to begin with.
HOLY SHIT BATGIRL!

Being drunk doesnt make you a dickhead, it only makes you a bigger one.

Dude, if you had been burned before, WTF, you of all people should know how much it hurts, so why do it? Cos you want to get revenge? bah.

For that you get a :
 

Belle

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Just because someone screwed you around doesn't mean that your next boyfriend deserved it. Maybe you should have broken it off before you found someone else, especially if you realised you didn't love him before that party. That way you both would have been saved from the situation. There is also another way to react when you aren't happy with someone... TALK to them about it. I bet he had no idea you were unhappy with him and so that is no excuse for cheating.
One other thing... reading back over this thread I don't think anyone mentioned the word 'slut'.
 

AsyLum

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Belle said:
One other thing... reading back over this thread I don't think anyone mentioned the word 'slut'.
Dont worry that'll be our new reference point.

*points @ aforementioned*
 

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