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Giant Lobster

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Guys, would you be comfortable if your spouse was the breadwinner of the family? And as a result, you had to be a sort of "househusband" (lol) ?

I mean... if that was my life and I lived off my wife... I dunno. Its just very disturbing. Is our urge to be the provider deeply rooted in the male psyche or is it just me? I dunno if I could marry into such a life :( I dunno how I'll bear it.
 

hipsta_jess

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i dont think that its deeply ingrained the way the urge to reproduce or something is, i dont think its a genetic thing that you feel simply coz you have a y chromosome, but i do think its something you feel simply because of societies pressures on us, its traditionally been the male that has been the breadwinner for so goddamn long, and its just what we're used to, and we resent the unfamiliar (ie the possibility that, oh, just wait, women might actually have something slightly resembling a brain and be able to use it in such a way that provides income)
 

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Put it this way...if you see a guy carrying a baby on the street in one of those chest bags while his wife next to him is wearing a business like suit and chatting on the photo putting orders through will you say "shame on you man..." if you think that, then most likely you will feel bad if that happened to you, if not, then you're a good man, because you understand the fact that relationship does not rely on who is the breadwinner...but instead two people loving each other.

To me...even if i wasn't the breadwinner, i know that in a relationship, one party always needs to depend on the other in either material or emotional ways...that's what capatibility and love means...even the strongest minded women will need emotional support at times..and vice versa...
 

SuGa BunI =D

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i believe in gender equality, therefore, the breadwinner situation will not exist in my household.
however, under difficulty but temporary circumstances such as he got fired, i suppose he would become the “househusband” while I work.
but if I hav a baby and must stay home, i’ll be happy to become a housewife …only for a while…. otherwise both of us work, housework, bills or mortgage 50/50
 

Giant Lobster

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i think u guys are just being politically correct... srsly
i asked many ppl this and most agree they would be disturbed by being the "woman" of the relationship

anyway im not worried because of pride, im worried because its like a sign of weakness - like, its stereotyped that the one that "earns less" (materialistically) is the woman of the relationship

and jess, u take me wrongly. im not saying women cant make money as good (or better) than men.. this is jsut about my "issue" with being the inferior (materialistically) in a relationship. it really bugs me... maybe i need to find a bimbo :p sigh...
 

babydoll_

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what you're saying makes sense for me...

forgive me for being old-fashioned, but in a relationship i prefer the male to be the superior.

don't get me wrong, i want a career and stuff as well, but if i end up working full-time and my husband ends up 'mothering' the kids, i wouldn't be comfortable with it.
 

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Giant Lobster said:
Guys, would you be comfortable if your spouse was the breadwinner of the family? And as a result, you had to be a sort of "househusband" (lol) ?
why is it that if she is the breadwinner, you have to be a househusband?
can't both partners be working?
 

Jago

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babydoll_ said:
what you're saying makes sense for me...

forgive me for being old-fashioned, but in a relationship i prefer the male to be the superior.

don't get me wrong, i want a career and stuff as well, but if i end up working full-time and my husband ends up 'mothering' the kids, i wouldn't be comfortable with it.
you like to be subordinate eh? :p
 

Giant Lobster

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babydoll_ said:
what you're saying makes sense for me...

forgive me for being old-fashioned, but in a relationship i prefer the male to be the superior.

don't get me wrong, i want a career and stuff as well, but if i end up working full-time and my husband ends up 'mothering' the kids, i wouldn't be comfortable with it.
haha old fashioned... yeah that's what i mean
if i get married, id surely expect my wife to have a successful career. she can be anything it wont bother me... as long as it doesn't earn more than my career :p (gawd that sounds awful but deep down that's the core of the issue) im impartial to raising kids, doing the dishes, all that housework stuff. I believe in a 50/50 relationship but deep down I feel the compulsion to be the breadwinner of the family. Its not a thing where i want to be "better than" my wife, its not that silly. Of course, my wife can be socially superior, she could be a doctor, or a professor or anything, and i can be a humbly educated with a Bachelors degree and I run a shop or something as my day job. But I MUST BE THE BREADWINNER else id never be able to sleep :(
 

babydoll_

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Giant Lobster said:
haha old fashioned... yeah that's what i mean
if i get married, id surely expect my wife to have a successful career. she can be anything it wont bother me... as long as it doesn't earn more than my career :p (gawd that sounds awful but deep down that's the core of the issue) im impartial to raising kids, doing the dishes, all that housework stuff. I believe in a 50/50 relationship but deep down I feel the compulsion to be the breadwinner of the family. Its not a thing where i want to be "better than" my wife, its not that silly. Of course, my wife can be socially superior, she could be a doctor, or a professor or anything, and i can be a humbly educated with a Bachelors degree and I run a shop or something as my day job. But I MUST BE THE BREADWINNER else id never be able to sleep :(
i totally agree with you. i guess we're old fashioned types eh?

of course, there are a lot of people who would degree, but to each, their own i guess.
 

iambored

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what if you get a job which means you will have more hours at home than your wife?
 

hipsta_jess

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Giant Lobster said:
haha old fashioned... yeah that's what i mean
if i get married, id surely expect my wife to have a successful career. she can be anything it wont bother me... as long as it doesn't earn more than my career :p (gawd that sounds awful but deep down that's the core of the issue) im impartial to raising kids, doing the dishes, all that housework stuff. I believe in a 50/50 relationship but deep down I feel the compulsion to be the breadwinner of the family. Its not a thing where i want to be "better than" my wife, its not that silly. Of course, my wife can be socially superior, she could be a doctor, or a professor or anything, and i can be a humbly educated with a Bachelors degree and I run a shop or something as my day job. But I MUST BE THE BREADWINNER else id never be able to sleep :(
good thing im not marrying you!!!!
 

SuGa BunI =D

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Giant Lobster said:
she can be anything it wont bother me... as long as it doesn't earn more than my career :p (gawd that sounds awful but deep down that's the core of the issue) im impartial to raising kids, doing the dishes, all that housework stuff. But I MUST BE THE BREADWINNER else id never be able to sleep :(

old fashioned booo booo :D


may i ask u something?
if you were “madly” in love with a girl right, u wouldn’t marry her just bcoz she’s making more money than you?? :confused:


ish the 21st century luv, u must learn to compromise honz or else u might remain a spinner for the rest of ur life lolz...jk
 

mack

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Personally i woundt mind if my wife earned more than me, but i would have serious problems with staying at home being a househusband. Id feel like Tony Danza in Whos the Boss.................*shudders*
 

virgin^sexy

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mack said:
Personally i woundt mind if my wife earned more than me, but i would have serious problems with staying at home being a househusband. Id feel like Tony Danza in Whos the Boss.................*shudders*
thankyou, that was my point exactly
why can't both people work?
who makes more money is irrelevent as far as i can see
 

Giant Lobster

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SuGa BunI =D said:
old fashioned booo booo :D


may i ask u something?
if you were “madly” in love with a girl right, u wouldn’t marry her just bcoz she’s making more money than you?? :confused:


ish the 21st century luv, u must learn to compromise honz or else u might remain a spinner for the rest of ur life lolz...jk
i'd marry her period.
im just saying its disturbing to not be able to be the main provider. both partners should work, i agree, but the man should earn MORE. even if its a dollar more. :)
 

iambored

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also remember ladies take maternity leave, this is why there is an obsession with men making the money - they have to have a stable job or if they have kids they will have no income
 

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