BOS Showcase: 2004 Major Works (1 Viewer)

Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
7,986
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
N/A
Gemita,

Thanks for reading over my major work :) I'm glad you like the RS, I slaved over that thing for like, forever...

I do have to admit, my work is not without flaw- but I am very, very happy to hear that people have to re-think my story after the first few pages (I really, really wanted to force my reader to have to reassess the story after those first weird pages). :D The fragmentation was always tricky to work with - if you thought some of the finished product was hard to read, you should have seen some of my first drafts :S but I'm very, very happy to hear that you picked up on the central theme to my story, and also that bit about my characters - I was very close with them to start with, but even closer by the time I handed the actual story in. They'll be pleased to know that even if you don't like them, you respect them. :D

I shall read your work asap... although perhaps after HSC... :D
 

Monkey Butler

Pray For Mojo
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
644
Gender
Male
HSC
2004
Davey, I read most of your mw, and it's very well done (although a little example heavy - maybe a few less quotes might've helped, I dunno) although personally I think the subject's irrelevant. You're writing about the Simpsons five years ago, not the Simpsons today. Back then it had something to say, now it's just a pathetic shadow of what it was, existing only to make money for fox. But I digress. Good mw, but I don't agree with it.
 

goldendawn

ὄσον ζῆς...
Joined
Aug 26, 2004
Messages
1,579
Gender
Male
HSC
2004
More critiques!

I have only had one critique so far. I am up for more please!
 

Steja

New Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2004
Messages
2
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2004
arggg - my major work is almost 5mb - has pictures that are sorta necesarry...

Anyone have any ideas as to what I can do? (ie. anyone have some extra webspace somewhere? :p)
 

~V~

Gold Member?
Joined
Jul 21, 2003
Messages
47
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
N/A
Hey!!
This is my short story, "...but it was all a sneeze"

please, no comments too harsh because there is nothing that i can change now!! My reflection statement is attached too... and i had the best cover page for my story but it was too big to include :(
Anyway, happy reading and you'll need to concentrate coz im told that it is confusing at times :p
 

Trixie Bird

New Member
Joined
Jan 25, 2004
Messages
20
I really recommend you read CHILDREN OF TIME (Golden Dawn's) - it's really really good.
 
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
7,986
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
N/A
Dearest Marcus,

What's this? A feminist I see? I am impressed, and muchly pleased.

You have something of a "high style" - no, that's incorrect. How about "grand narrative" theme to your work. I must admit, if I didn't know you I would think that you were in over your head. However there is a sense throughout the entire work - felt not only by those who are familiar with you personally - that your entire story is really just sonething of a grand plaything. Many here have proven themselves as composers but it is people like you that set the bar even higher, choosing not to focus on things like postmodernism and current issues but actually doing something with it, showcasing your skill as a true literary composer to the bone.

I honestly can't be sure about your intended audience - as I feel that a lot of your work would not be appreciated by many uneducated audiences that do not appreciate the themes raised (and how they are raised) but it nevertheless is a very clever and unique piece of work on the whole and reminds me a lot of the terrible events through history - The Inquisition etc. And I love the feminism. Yours is a world I would happily travel back in time to - albiet AFTER they've overthrown the patriarchal society.
 

winicat

Active Member
Joined
Mar 12, 2004
Messages
1,026
Gender
Female
HSC
2004
hotcocoababe said:
Okaaaaay guys..... here it is!

I had to copy/paste the whole damn thing over into wordpad, then remove the title page and double spacing before it would let me attach it!

Anyway, when I handed it in yesterday morning, one of my friends said... "oh it's called bloodletting....ummm, do you realise there's a book called that? its about a depressed girl...."

So now im really worried, because i've never even HEARD of this book until then, let alone the fact that it seems kinda similar to my story from what my friend said.... dammit, dammit, dammit!

Let's hope I get a naive marker.

Anyway guys, read and tell me what you think ok! :) and no, i haven't attached the reflection statement, cuz i wrote it at 4.30am that morning and i think its a piece of shit personally.

Luv yous alll....

(AND HAY, ITS FINALLY OVER! NO MORE WRITER'S BLOCK!!! WAHOOO!!)
hey, i read your's a couple of days ago. i liked it but i kind of felt everything was detached and i kept waiting for the significance of the bridge and everything to appear. i realise that you were prob focusing more on the mother's impact or something but yeah, that's just me and my opinion at this stage in the game soooo just does not matter.
 

goldendawn

ὄσον ζῆς...
Joined
Aug 26, 2004
Messages
1,579
Gender
Male
HSC
2004
Hey Lynn,
Thanks for reading my work. I would just like to say rather than rather being a feminist, I respect the equality and necessity of both the male and the female elements. I did intend to write it in the grand narrative style. I did alot of research the epic style, and expressed my own aesthetic values through that form. I tried to explain all of that in the reflection statement. Did you read the reflection statement too?
 
Last edited:
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
7,986
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
N/A
I did. You know me well by now - particularly on days like today, everything needs to be in baby-language so I must admit that I did find it a little difficult at times to actually figure out what you were saying in your reflection statement, but regardless of that it was very clear that you were really trying to emphasise particular parts, themes or ideas of the story, which as a fellow writer, is something I respect greatly.

Forgive my liberal use of term "feminist". In yesterday's, and sometimes, today's patriarchal society a feminist may have meant "one who desires women to be elevated to the place of men and men to be subjugated to the former level of women" but to me - it simply means equality - one who desires gender equality and takes steps to convey this, even if making a female a main character or having particular motion in a story.

Ah, what am I saying... I was only too happy to apply a feminist reading to your story... :D

I love feminist readings.
 

goldendawn

ὄσον ζῆς...
Joined
Aug 26, 2004
Messages
1,579
Gender
Male
HSC
2004
I understand. :). Yes, I do believe my major work would lend itself well to a feminist reading, but that is only one aspect of my greater meaning . Anyway, I hoped you actually enjoyed reading the major work. I enjoyed writing it.
 

life4_rent

Member
Joined
Feb 26, 2004
Messages
68
Location
w/Mr. Darcy
Alrighty, I'm downloading everyone's posted Major Works like crazy at the moment coz I have nothing to do seeing as HSC is all over *jumps up & down excitedly* I can almost guarantee that I won't know who's is whose.. I'll post all my comments in reference to each Major Work (I'm sorry, I probably won't remember the composer of each, you know, with my goldfish memory and all *grins sheepishly*) as soon as I finish them..

Meanwhile, here's mine.. Its called 'Internal Affairs'. Personally, I think its REALLY cliched and confusing, and I really wish I didn't submit it. But then again, I'll let you guys be the judge of it.. =)

...Alrite, its supposed to be the whole thing, but my MW is 157kb and the damn upload only allows 97kb.. But the basic gist of it is there.. =)
 

tRiXsTa

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2004
Messages
47
Location
da'Gong
Gender
Female
HSC
2005
Hey everyone..well i've skimmed over alot of your major works and as a whole they're heaps impressing (i hope i can scratch something up thats half as good) anyways i was wondering if anyone would be willing to tell me what sort of marks you got, particualy from major works in 2002, 2003 and 2004 (if you've got them back yet).... if u can help me out id appreciate it!! Just tell me which one was yours and the sort of marks you got!!
and best of luck to all those who are still waiting to get their results back!!
 

:: dreami ::

Diamond BOS'er
Joined
Jan 29, 2004
Messages
210
Gender
Female
HSC
2004
my major work :)

its titled "the legacy of lake bacia" and is sectioned into three seperate 'mini' stories - hardly mini lol

enjoy and still open to critique (scored 47/50)
 

deusexmachina

New Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2004
Messages
27
Gender
Male
HSC
2004
Well, here you go...

I'm not including my title page (which is about 500 k because of the picture), but this is the first in NSW English Extension 2 major work for 2004. It's called
The Nine Cities of Troy: A Requiem for Utopia All criticism welcome!
 

illmatic

NaS
Joined
Oct 16, 2004
Messages
391
Location
Somewhere
Gender
Male
HSC
2005
deusexmachina said:
Well, here you go...

I'm not including my title page (which is about 500 k because of the picture), but this is the first in NSW English Extension 2 major work for 2004. It's called
The Nine Cities of Troy: A Requiem for Utopia All criticism welcome!

man! thats some weird shit!! you must have been sniffing something to come up with that idea!! lol

congrats on getting the top
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Top