Would you ever take back a cheater? (2 Viewers)

[AlleyCat]

Well?

If your partner cheated on you, would you ever take him/her back?

 

[withoutaface]

Probably. Depends on the circumstances.

 

[crazyhomo]

Probably. Depends on the circumstances.

ditto

 

[P_Dilemma]

Probably. Depends on the circumstances.

WHAT kind of circumstances, may i ask?

-P_D

 

[iamsickofyear12]

No. I make decisions based on logic, not emotions, and statistically if they cheated once they will probably do it again.

 

[withoutaface]

WHAT kind of circumstances, may i ask?

-P_D

1. How long I'd been with them.
2. Had they done it before.
3. Was it premeditated.
4. How far did they go.
5. Were there any deep feelings involved.
etc

 

[Smurg]

I hate monopoly.

 

[Smurg]

NEVER!!!
I mean how do you know they wont do it again?
I proves they are a liar...
I understand people make mistakes but if they wanna be with someone else or sleep around why stay with your partner...Too gutless i spose??
People grow some balls..
It hurts them even more-I have realised that.
you obviously dont love them,Care for them etc...

Think about it if an opportunity has come up.

I'm still shocked about the balls comment.

But I guess what you're saying is fairly true.

 

[CeLeBriTy SkIn]

I took back a cheating ex, even though I never thought I would. It was one of the worst mistakes I've made.

If they see no problem in abusing your trust the first time, do you think it gets harder the second or third or however many times for them? It hurts, and the odds of them deserving a second chance are pretty low.

It's better to let go of them. No-one deserves to be cheated on. And the sooner people realise that and get an idea of self respect and worth, the sooner they'll realise they don't need the person who cheated on them anyway.

In essence.. NO. Never take a cheating partner back!

Yeh....... I make sense

 

[Tulipa]

It all depends on the circumstances. Get off your high horses and realise that people make mistakes. If it was a simple mistake with no feelings involved and they realised what a horrible thing they'd done thus apologising, then yeah I would take them back.

 

[P_Dilemma]

1. How long I'd been with them.
2. Had they done it before.
3. Was it premeditated.
4. How far did they go.
5. Were there any deep feelings involved.
etc

1. They've been with you for SOO long and they STILL cheat on you? Conversely, you've ONLY been together this long and they've ALREADY cheated on you?
2. DONE IT BEFORE?!?! So If they've done it a million times before it makes the next few ok?
3. Premeditated?! Oh, right, i never PLANNED to sleep with them, but it turned out that way...
4. "Oh, it was only punus in vagoo action..."
5. "Oh, i had DEEP feelings, so it's ok" / "Oh, i felt nothing, so it's ok"

-P_D

 

[ur_inner_child]

This current relationship... of 4(ish) years... I don't know. I honestly can't even fathom it and how I'd react.

I don't even think "time" should be a factor. Are we saying that the longer you've been with them, the easier you'll forgive them? If my boyfriend did it behind my back, I'd just spew at the idea of wasting 4 years.

But to other relationships that I have afterwards, say like an 8 month relationship, no. I hold grudges and I cannot forgive people easily.

 

[Serius]

depending on the circumstances i might forgive anything up to full intercourse. The only way that could ever possibly be forgiven is if i was married to her. By might i mean a really low chance though, if i am at work whilst shes blowing bob from accounting then i am not going to be too happy.

The way i see it, once someone has cheated they have broken the trust. The relationship might limp along for a while and it might eventually recover but usually i dont think it would be worth the effort. Besides if shes done it once shes more likely to do it again and as they way " fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me". No way in hell would i ever forgive a second trangression, no matter how minor.

 

[AsyLum]

It all depends on the circumstances. Get off your high horses and realise that people make mistakes. If it was a simple mistake with no feelings involved and they realised what a horrible thing they'd done thus apologising, then yeah I would take them back.

I think the question should be more can you trust them again. I don't think I could ever go back to trusting them as intimately as I wanted to, so in that sense, I don't think I'd ever take someone back. Its a lot more complex than just taking or not taking someone back. And its definitely not a simple mistake, that would be to trivialise the entire act.

 

[Tulipa]

It happens though.

That's what a lot of people don't get. That yeah people can cheat, it can be a huge mistake and the relationship can work.

 

[iamsickofyear12]

If I was in a serious relationship with someone and they cheated I would never trust them again. I don't see the point in that kind of relationship.

 

[Smurg]

Do you think if you asked a homeless person out you could trust them?

I think they'd be kind of loyal, almost subservient...not sure what it is about them, but if you provided them with warmth and care. They probably wouldn't cheat on you.

Imagine if a homeless person cheated on you, that's fucking low after all you did for them. It also says something about your character, having asked a homeless person out in the first place...and then having a HOMELESS person cheat on you.

Both are losers in this situation, but at least you get to keep your house.

 

[AsyLum]

It happens though.

That's what a lot of people don't get. That yeah people can cheat, it can be a huge mistake and the relationship can work.

True, its kind of hard to say until you're put into that situation. I know I've been put through quite a few situations over the past 5 years where I've probably gone against what I thought were my beliefs.

As a question, how do you learn to trust that person again? I've always tried to rationalise that thought in my mind and each and everytime its come out as some sort of bitter 'test' like thing, but I'm sure thats neither healthy for anyone nor the right answer.

 

[Tulipa]

True, its kind of hard to say until you're put into that situation. I know I've been put through quite a few situations over the past 5 years where I've probably gone against what I thought were my beliefs.

As a question, how do you learn to trust that person again? I've always tried to rationalise that thought in my mind and each and everytime its come out as some sort of bitter 'test' like thing, but I'm sure thats neither healthy for anyone nor the right answer.

You just stick with it. I think the main thing is realising that people make mistakes and that the cheater probably feels horrendous about it (if they don't then obviously the relationship is just over).

Eventually you just forgive after awhile.

 

[lengy]

Yes, but only for sex.