Today's Lesson (1 Viewer)

[jumb]

But theres so much power in his hands over this. If he says anything, they might break up. So he has to decide if he'd rather a destroyed family or the burden of guilt.

 

[Mezra]

But theres so much power in his hands over this. If he says anything, they might break up. So he has to decide if he'd rather a destroyed family or the burden of guilt.

He has absolutely nothing to feel guilty about if he tells the truth. And it depends on your definition of a "destroyed family". If his dad is cheating on his mum and they remain in an unhappy relationship based on a lie for the sake of their kids then that isn't exactly paradise.

 

[jumb]

... that isn't exactly paradise.

It's the lesser of two evils.

 

[iamsickofyear12]

Its my room, people should respect my privacy and knock before they enter.

If it was only that simple. I used to have a particular door handle on my room that could be opened from the outside with a small screwdriver (in case you locked the door by accident and couldn't get in). On more than one occasion my younger brother and sister got a little screwdriver and unlocked my door and just barged in. That doesn't even include them going in my room when I wasn't home... which they did constantly.

I went and bought my own handle with a proper key so now they can't unlock my door and barge into my room or get in when I am not home.

 

[Mezra]

i call a destroyed family one where the parents split up. His dad isnt cheating on his mum[that we know]

Ok well we obviously have different definitions of cheating. Anyway, it probably was and is only a kiss, but 1) if it's "not cheating" then it wont split them up. 2) his mum still deserves to know.

A destroyed family is one where the parents split up?
What if it's not working?
What if they're just not happy?
What if they both want out?

Oh but wait. Being in an unhappy marriage is far more preferable to being content and single. (Not that I'm saying your parents are unhappy...)

But speaking generally, I have lots of friends with divorced parents who prefer their parents separate and happy leading their own lives than together and discontent.

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

i reckon that it's better for parents in an unhappy marriage to separate if there's no chance of it getting any better. but the actual process of separation is hardly ever a nice happy process, it puts a lot of stress on people's emotions and can be just as messy and distressing as the actual marriage was...so i guess you have to decide whether or not the parents breaking up will be more beneficial for them (and their family) in the long term, otherwise the pain of the breakup isnt worth it.

 

[CieL]

Would there be any chance that your mum knows already?

 

[em_516]

i guess it's up to iamsickofyear12 to make a judgement call on whether he thinks his dad should stop (if it continues) and whether his mum deserves to know..i guess it is less of a big deal that it was only a kiss (although it definitely shouldn't have happened!)..i spose if you find out it's bigger than what you saw, you should probably talk to your dad, or even tell your mum..i dunno, it's a big one!

 

[Sweety pie12]

wow thats intense stuff right there!!!
youre brave though although i think confrontation is the best thing
think of how unfair it is to your mum
sure its hard but eventually it will eat at you & cause serious mental problems
im not just saying that i speak from own knowledge

 

[The_highwayman]

This is from my view: iam sound asleep and very suddenly iam woken up by the sound of my door opening, its that abrupt[no knocking] that i think world war 3 has broken out and we have to get to an underground bunker NOW. Iam naked. The girl next to me is naked. His view is partially obscured by my chest of draws but that wont hold for very long if he steps into my room to hand me a note of where my family is or whatever. Thinking quick i "roll over" with my doona and push the girl on the floor[wall side of the bed] along with a blanket and feign confusion because ive been asleep. Best. Save.Ever.

My mates have walked in on me a few times but they were generally cool about it, quickly closed the door and didnt even make any noise.

LOL.

funniest story ever.

Shame it's in this thread though :/

 

[iamsickofyear12]

Maybe u should see if this hooking up is something frequent..
if so, then it would be a cause to tell ur mother/confront ur father..

If it was a once off..
then perhaps its better to just leave it be?

I have considered that... but it freaked me out seeing it once. I don't particularly want to try and can catch him doing it again.

There is a chance that it was a once off thing. It is possible that my mum knows and doesn't care or they have an open relationship or any number of things. That's why I don't want to just go making a big scene based on basically a 2 second glimpse.

 

[_dhj_]

I think you should tell your dad that you know about what happened. This would result in the best outcome because
1) it gets the thing off your chest
2) your dad might be a bit worried about what you know - he deserves to be stressed
3) he might be encouraged to confess before you tell your mum what happened

 

[Serius]

yeah lol its not like he is a little kid, this would hardly give him problems at all.

 

[olay]

it's been said, but i really think you should talk to your dad about what you saw. i know you don't really want to just yet.. so you should leave it be til you feel a little more prepared, but you really should soon. and i'm not a confrontational person :S so i can totally relate with how awkward and hard it is. but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

i think the likely consequences of talking to your dad about it would be that nothing between them will happen again and you'll have stopped their relationship from escalating further in this way. the other consequence could be that your dad decides his heart lies with the family friend... :S which is probably not the outcome you want, but everyone deserves the honesty that comes with this decision. having said that, i still think the outcome is more likely be the former and not the latter, which is a good thing!

if you don't say anything... i think it will really eat you up especially considering you don't think it's a good idea talking to any of your mates about it. is there any friend you can talk to in the meantime though that won't take it lightly? i think chatting about it would do you a lot of good (though getting perspectives from here is a good start). i think it could also mean that you will continue to wonder how far things have gone with them, and question your dad's integrity, actions and honesty for far too long a time. it could also mean that the relationship goes further than it already has...

anyway, of course it's your choice. both actions are going to be hard to take. what i've written is just from the top of my head, maybe you should take some time to come up with all the consequences you can think of from taking both of those actions (i.e. talking to your dad about it or leaving it) and then decide which one you should take.

good luck!! *big hug*.

 

[aussiechica7]

talk 2 him about it

possibly tell your mum. the only reason i say that is if it was me, i would want 2 know sooner rather than later (and she prob will find out eventuallY)