The Heroic Tale of Billy Fred (1 Viewer)

McLake

The Perfect Nerd
Joined
Aug 14, 2002
Messages
4,187
Location
The Shire
Gender
Male
HSC
2002
Note: story "slightly" edited for coherance ...

L: Lazy
M: McLake
C: Christine
B: BlackJack
S: saladsugery


L: I had a donkey once...
M: What was its name?
L: Billy fred
M: What colour was it?
L: Black with white stripes
M: How do you know it wasn't white with black stripes ?
L: *Chooses to ignore that question*
An interesting story about billy fred....
M: Yes ...
L: Twas the summer of 41, germany had just invaded russia, me and billy fred were on our way to the local fish and chip shop, when it happened...
M: What did you plan to buy at the fish & chip shop?
L: sausages
M: During the depression? You rich man (or twaz it your donkey that twaz rich?)
L: Suddenly we were surrounded by 7 vicious germans, intent on eating billy fred...
M: Bloody Germans, bet they wanted your sausage too ..
L: "give us the donkey or we will sodomise you" said the leader....
"Come and get him u stupid german wanker" I replied in defiance
M: The German is speaking English?
L: Yes
M: How learned of him ...
L: The germans began to slowly advance on me and billy fred...
L: Suddenly a desperate plan began to form in my mind...
M: The tension is killing me ...
No, I'm still alive ...
M: Beer is not a plan ...
L: If i could somehow distract the germans for a second i could make my escape
M: I know, technology ...
L: "look out!" i cried "theres a herd of angry ducks behind you!"
But unfortunatley they didnt fall for my dastardly plan
M: Should have gone with elephants ...
L: The head german struck me repeatedly with a stick, the germans grabbed billy fred and.................
C: ooh let me guess?
is billy fred a donkey ??
if so lazy, you're kinkier than i thought!!
M: Kinky, crazy, it's a fine line ...
L: *Begins to sob with the memories*
C: of the kinky sex???
M: Stop crying, keep talking ...
L: Well you all know what happens after that
C: the kinky sex right????
just jokin
L: Billy fred would turn over in his grave if he heard you paying me out
M: After the kinky sex? I don't know, a ciggy?
C: good one
L: *Ignores Christine*
How bout you finish the story Mclake...and ill tell you if thats what happened or not
M: Um, where were we, the germans were just upon you ...
Just then the angry ducks, late to their last appearance, arrived ...
L: Yes...undependabele little bastard
M: Followed by elephants in pink momoo's
C: what colour are the ducks?? i'm just curious.
M: green
C: i didn't know they made mumus for pink elepahants...
regular ones yes, pink ones no?
M: Freah out of the fashion houses of Milan and Paris ..
M: The elephants and the ducks and the Germans and Billy all got into a big fight ...
Brave little Billy ..
M: Anyway, feathers and ears and bad moustashes were flying everywhere ...
L: Get on with the story!!
M: That's when the tragic event happened ...
M: Billy Fred was tragically burnt by hot oil from ...
L: *Holds breath*
M: ... the crazed fish & chips shop owner, blind with rage over low sausage sales ...
C: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
L: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
"BILLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY FRRRRRRREEEEEEEDDDDDDD!!"
C: its so tragic i'm in tears.....
M: Was I right? Is this what happened? It's so tragic ...
L: Yeah thats exactly what happened, except billy fred also suffered a major heart attack from eating too many sausages and smoking too much. He was also assassinated by the russian mafia for preaching pro-trotsky ideals, while being beaten to death by the herd of ducks who had not come to protect him, rather to kill him for shitting in their pond. All this happened in the space between the german striking me with a stick and the tragic scalding...
L: And there ends the story of Billy Fred, lord of the donkies...
9 pages to tell it...im impressed
C: wow what a story
*christine wipes a tear from her eye*
S: that story was a f*cking epic...
L: I totally agree my young friend, im quite proud of it, so proud that i changed my msn name to reflect the heroism of Billy Fred
L: Twas a magnificant tale too BJ, sorry you missed it.
C: have u sold the movie rights yet lazy????
L: Do i sense a touch of sarcasm in that post Christine?
C: me? sarcasm? Never!!!
B: Michael, your contribution to the story better be good, that sudden increase in post count looked like its due to shameless spam for a second.
M: My ending is brilliant, I have only contributed shameless spam for the first few posts ...
L: Yeah ill back you up on this one Mclake, you did a fantastic job of finishing my story...im proud of you
M: It was an hounour to recount the foibles of brave little Billy Fred ...
L: *Bows head in rememberance*
M: To know Billy was to be touched by a truly special donkey ...
C: mmm, that sounds kinky too
M: You just wan't some of the action, don't you ...
B: people with dirty minds... what are you thinking!? Touched is touched.
L: You've got kinky on the brain Christine
AND STOP MAKING FUN OF BILLY FRED!!
 

Lazy

Old Bastard
Joined
Sep 9, 2002
Messages
673
Location
Bathurst
Gender
Male
HSC
2002
LOL!!

Nice work Mclake, that must have taken you a fair while :D

I like the incoherent original better though :)
 

McLake

The Perfect Nerd
Joined
Aug 14, 2002
Messages
4,187
Location
The Shire
Gender
Male
HSC
2002
Wasn't much editing, just moved some posts that were posted at the wrong time anyway (due to 30 sec rule). All the good stuff is still there, and I didn't fix any typos/spelling errors ...
 

luigi

***LouLou***
Joined
Aug 15, 2002
Messages
626
Location
sydney
Gender
Female
HSC
2002
its too long to read at the moment.. but i will soon

ps so many new threads since yesterdy! man...

and "massacre" is dying.. help!
 

Lazy

Old Bastard
Joined
Sep 9, 2002
Messages
673
Location
Bathurst
Gender
Male
HSC
2002
So you almost finished all your exams 'year 11'...*Smacks forehead*...oh THATS RIGHT, youve still got AN ENTIRE YEAR BEFORE YOU FINISH SCHOOL!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Dont mess with the big boys youngin, you'll get burnt :lol:
 

saladsurgery

kicking the cack
Joined
Jul 26, 2002
Messages
943
Location
over there
Gender
Male
HSC
2002
Ahh Lazy.

Doesn't it SUCK having no more school, and a 4 month holiday?

Gee I wish I was back at the start of year 12.

Oh I do.
 

Lazy

Old Bastard
Joined
Sep 9, 2002
Messages
673
Location
Bathurst
Gender
Male
HSC
2002
Oh ME too SS, i mean having to get up early every day to sit in a classroom for 6 hours...i SURE will miss that ;)

And not having to do all those assessments/trials/exams....whatever will i do with myself :p
 

McLake

The Perfect Nerd
Joined
Aug 14, 2002
Messages
4,187
Location
The Shire
Gender
Male
HSC
2002
Originally posted by Lazy
Oh ME too SS, i mean having to get up early every day to sit in a classroom for 6 hours...i SURE will miss that ;)

And not having to do all those assessments/trials/exams....whatever will i do with myself :p
Daily :spam: ing of P.I.G., of course ...
 

sar sar

Banned
Joined
Oct 17, 2002
Messages
134
Location
sweden
what does the "S" stand for in spam?:confused:

i think the rest is:

P: processed
A: American
M: Meat

any clues?
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Top