Review my Thesis for Module B Speeches? (1 Viewer)

Green024

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Hey, so we've just gotten an assessment task for speeches, and we have to discuss this line (with reference to the texts of course); "Speeches are consciously designed to present particular ideas or values which seep into the audience's consciousness and stay there."

And this is my thesis statement.

In channelling the Aristotelian ideas of rhetoric, modern speech writers are able to impress their ideas and concerns on respective audiences; logos, pathos and ethos. Logos, the use of reasoning and logic to sway an audience; pathos, the use of emotional appeal to induce a cathartic response; and finally ethos, the speaker's credibility bolstering their speech's reception.
 

strawberrye

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The thesis statement should directly use the key words of the essay question to answer the question, you haven't defined the specific ideas/values you intend to explore in your thesis statement by making reference to the particular speeches you intend to examine these values/ideas in, as a result, this thesis statement is moderately too broad and a bit weak. Furthermore, the whole point of this module is not to 'channel the Aristotelian ideas of rhetoric', but rather to highlight how the most effective speeches are those which utilises a combination of rhetorical techniques and timeless ideas such as the importance of peace to appeal to both contextual audience and contemporary ones(because of the timelessness nature of ideas-transcend beyond immediate context). You shouldn't define logos, pathos and ethos at all, you should show it as a kind of rhetorical technique. Furthermore your thesis statement is far too long, keep your sentences short and make sure you answer the given question.

hope this helps:)
 

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