Help me please with HSC! I'm coming last and it isn't normal! (1 Viewer)

[ragemaster1]

Hey guys, yes I had a previous thread stating my issues, but this was before my trials. I had gotten my trials back and I had gotten 30% average for all my subjects. I do Economics, Adv. English, 2-Unit Math, Chemistry & Biology. I had also gotten my ranks for a couple of subjects and I'm coming last or second last.

I understand there are "alternate pathways" and my crappy atar doesn't control my life but when my father is mentioned it kind of does. Basically my mum understands to just try my best and study but with my father he is expecting me to get 80+ for my ATAR. I've tried to passively discuss with my father about how there are other pathways but he ends up screaming at me telling me "You've been going to tutoring for 11 years, you should be getting good marks!" and "If you study, you should get the results!".

Now I've been studying but it is very hard when first there are family issues and let alone with the stress I get off the HSC my father teases me and calls me lazy, fat, etc and has even said some explicitly disgusting things about/to me.

I'm not a dumb person, I'm really good with programming and IT related topics, I just find it difficult with the subjects I'm doing with all of this. Also when I sit in exams I stress out too much; I've tried to breathe deeply and think positive thoughts/just think on the exam but this obviously hasn't worked.

I've been seeing a counsellor for almost 1.5 years and still no results. I've stopped seeing her a few weeks ago due to the necessity of needing to be in class for revision, but honestly counselling hasn't helped because it all leads back to my dad and what he may do to me when I get the ATAR on December 17th and I either get the "*" mystery mark or "<30".

I really want to go to University to study Software Engineering/Information Technology but at this stage it doesn't seem possible. I'd heard of UTS:Insearch where if you don't get the expected results you can go there and then transfer to University but the minimum requirement is 60% raw HSC mark. At this stage I'm barely hitting 40% as my average.

If anyone can please, please help me. I've mentioned this in my previous thread but I honestly feel suicidal at times because of all this and I feel mentally affected and even physically affected where I'd sleep for 11 hours (9pm-8am) and still feel extremely tired. My social health isn't even that great where because I'm so stressed out no one likes to speak to me and if someone does I end up annoying them due to my excitement of me speaking to someone or non-interesting topics I bring up.

Please help me!

 

[Flop21]

Is it possible for you to ignore all outside pressures and issues (like your social life, dad, stress, scared for ATAR)?

Because I think that's the only way you're going to improve.

Ignore it all, and just study. Because it's obvious that there's something going on with your studying and learning which is the root of your issue.

Can you tell me more about your study plan, how you study, where etc.

 

[porcupinetree]

First of all let me say that you are not stupid, dumb or useless – you’re a valuable person with your own unique abilities and talents. It sounds like for the past few years you’ve been mistreated and repressed by others around you – this is such a horrible experience to go through. You say that you’ve had counselling with little to no benefits from it – perhaps consider getting a different counsellor with a completely different approach; this may end up helping you significantly. However, perhaps there is another reason that you’re not finding counselling particularly useful: the most important thing when going through an experience like this is your own mindset, your own approach and your own actions. When you feel trapped by what’s happening around you and by what others say about you, ultimately the most powerful catalyst in bringing about change is your own view about your situation. Yes, it is very difficult to be positive when you’re going through such hard experiences. Other people can try to help, but at the end of the day, YOU are the one who has the power to change your perception of your life.

In terms of your performance in the HSC, remember that the alternative pathways to uni that you’re aware of aren’t the only pathways – there’s always the opportunity to take a gap year next year, get some work experience under your belt and try again for uni in 2017. In addition, there’s always other places (e.g. TAFE) which can be a stepping stone for getting into university. If I were you, I wouldn’t focus too much on what your father expects of you – most likely, he’s going through something difficult as well, and he (probably) only wants the best for you. Unfortunately, his method of expressing himself is obviously quite blatant and unhelpful. Try and be kind towards him (yes, I understand that it’s difficult and counter-cultural to do so) – after all, an eye for an eye will only leave the whole world blind.

Given that there’s only 6 weeks to go until the HSC, and that you seem quite stressed out about it, I would recommend trying to clear all the clutter in your mind and focus, for the next couple of months, on giving your best – sure, you may have underperformed in your assessment tasks throughout the year, but there’s literally nothing you can do to change how you have gone. There’s only 6 weeks left to go, so you might as well give it your all, even if you don’t expect to get fantastic marks. Remember that you're not defined by how you go in the HSC, or what course you may or may not get into next year, or what your father thinks about you.

Concerning your study technique - consider talking to your teachers and asking them for their advice for anything you're unsure about. Don't be ashamed to ask questions - in fact, I ask questions so regularly in my classes that my teachers are probably sick of it. Also, try and focus on one thing at a time - it can be very easy (especially at this time of the year when all the content has been covered in class) to get flustered when you realise how much you are supposed to remember - try to focus on one concept at a time, making sure you understand it completely before you move on. It's better that you're super confident with 1-2 out of four modules and a little unsure about the others, than being unsure about all of them - at the end of the day you're trying to maximise marks. Good luck with your studying

Please, if you ever have self-hating / suicidal thoughts - talk to someone. It shows so much character strength to be able to talk about your own feelings in such a way - it is most certainly not something to be ashamed of, and it doesn't show that you're 'weak'. Many people go through similar periods in their life - everyone around you is here to support you (and if they're not, I am ). Keeping things bottled up is the easy thing to do but is ultimately destructive to both yourself and others - try and learn to be honest with yourself and others.

Hope that helps. If you have any other worries you can always shoot me a PM