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Criticism Needed for Proposal...10 drafts and counting... (1 Viewer)

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angelduck

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I wasnt meaning it to slag you, its just not everyone has the time or dedication to put in the amount of work you did to get those marks. Theres other proposals on here that got full marks that were less than 2 pages. Its about what your teacher wants, not what someone else did.
 

Plebeian

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Originally posted by Nerissa

I'm a Tolkien purist, so I'll correct your error - Denethor was never KING of Gondor, only Steward, the King's caretaker. But you'd be forgiven for thinking he was king if you've just watched the movies and haven't read the book. Aragorn is the one true king - of the combined kingdom of Gondor and Arnor, and my heart. Aaahhh, he's such a sweetie. I reckon he should have been in Troy: he would have made a far better Achilles than Brad Pitt.

:D I too am a Tolkien fan.. I have actually read the book (several times - plus the Silmarillion, which was hard going) and I know that Denethor was only the Ruling Steward. It was just a first reaction - then I realised it was wrong. I realise I didn't make that clear though. :) Having read the book again after seeing the movies, it's quite interesting to see how little secrecy Tolkien puts on the whole 'return of the king' theme - it's obvious from Rivendell that Aragorn is the King, and he gets Anduril then, etc. whereas it's not plainly obvious in the movies (I think) until Gandalf confronts Denethor.

I agree that Viggo Mortensen would have made a better Achilles. I don't think Brad Pitt is 'rugged' enough to play a fighting character - to me, he seems like an actor playing a role rather than the actual character.

And it seems that you might still have hope! Through the magic of anagrams,

"King Elessar Telcontar I"

rearranges to:

"Call Nerissa (re: tie knot), G."

This could quite possibly be a message from Gandalf to Aragorn giving him a 'helpful hint'.
 
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Nerissa

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TECHIE ----> Was going to email / PM you; then I clicked on your profile and it said "this user has specified they do not want to receive emails through this board", so I couldn't! I guess everyone else will just have to put up with this post being off topic! Hope you see it (hopefully you're like me and click on the 'view all new posts' button)...WOW, I'm so glad to have found another Tolkien fan! This is unbelievably COOL! You've read the Silmarillion!!! That makes you far more of an expert than me - it's sitting on my shelf, but after my first four attempts, I gave up. I'm thinking of trying again come November 5 (end of the HSC for me), as the first few times I read it, I was only 9 (I know, I was a very deprived child...) Does it have lots of stories about the Edain and Numenor, cause from what I can remember, it was totally about the elves, whom I completely dislike. I dunno, something about them being so immortal and fuckin' superior "Ha ha, I'm an elf, I have seen into the future, you are going to die / marry my daughter / become king, lowly mortal"...although I would let Elrond seduce me any day (mmmmmm, Hugo Weaving...) You know what elf line most pissed me off: in FOTR, when, I think it's Glorfindel, says to Bilbo when he points out the differences between hobbits and elves "to sheep, no doubt, other sheep look different", or something like that (!!!!!!!!!) I woulda bitch slapped the motherfucker upside the head (ooohh, I love talking 'ghetto').
Originally posted by Techie
I agree that Viggo Mortensen would have made a better Achilles. I don't think Brad Pitt is 'rugged' enough to play a fighting character - to me, he seems like an actor playing a role rather than the actual character.
THANK YOU!!! Finally, someone agrees with me. My friends all tell me I'm just biased because I'm in love with Viggo, but that's not the point - he's a far better actor, doesn't have any of that self consciousness that Brad Pitt oozes (it's like he can't seem to forget that he was dubbed the sexiest man in the world long enough to really immerse himself in a character). Have you seen Hidalgo - I loved him in that! (So much so that I actually wished I was the horse...I know, I'm pathetic.) Brad Pitt is way too much of a golden boy - I love that rugged, dirt-and-grime-are-sexy look of Viggo's: as a friend said, "he's just one big hunk of man". I wish he was in Troy...hmmm, time to get out my digital video editing equipment, I think!
Originally posted by Techie

And it seems that you might still have hope! Through the magic of anagrams,

"King Elessar Telcontar I"

rearranges to:

"Call Nerissa (re: tie knot), G."

This could quite possibly be a message from Gandalf to Aragorn giving him a 'helpful hint'.
One word: THUD! I was eating my dinner while reading that, and I just spat food all over the screen (not very Queenlike, hey?) I went so red my mum asked me if I was feeling sick...that's the last thing I heard for a while, as the fantasies set in right about then...Mmmmm, King Elessar. How cool are anagrams! I hated them in primary school (as I'm not much of a lateral thinker), but now I love them! My relationship with Aragorn is meant to be. Even Tolkien forsaw it!!!! Wait till I tell my friends on Monday (I can see them rolling their eyes already). Thanks for taking the trouble to figure that anagram out. You're a real sweetie! (In fact, if I had any way of confirming that you look even remotely like Viggo Mortensen and are not a 50 year old child paedophile, I'd be asking you for your number!!) I can't thank you enough, I was studying for icky 3 Unit Maths and that anagram just made my day!! Talk to you soon,
Nerissa
PS - Your website is wicked - why didn't you do IPT or SDD? You know, it's only missing one thing...a Viggo Mortensen page!
PPS - I read your profile, and in it your subjects add up to 13 units. Are you really doing that many? (Smart as well as sweet...hmmm.....) How do you cope??? Any way I can help??
 

max

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nerissa, i've read your proposal and am impressed. Just remember that is just your proposal, which is probably some 5-10% of your internal assessment. You wouldn't want to be too shrouded in Spanish dichtomy and find out the 'bigger picture' (HSC exam) is just on the horizon.
 
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My goodness,
if that is your proposal there is no way in hell i am going to pass this subject. I was told mine was too long and it was only two pages. The only advice i could offer is to get another person to mark it and see waht they think about it. Maybe a coordinator or head teacher of humanities. Other wise get a couple of people to read over it to see if it is clear enough. Man good luck.
 

shelley

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haha dont stress to much about that proposal..i did mine, and we only had 500 words and i still got 5/5..u cant jusdge against others work (except teh essay/synopsis) because diff teachers will want it done different way, and yes hers was exhustive! its good but yea...its like a really small thing (Nerissa, i dont envy u the time u spent BUT WELL DONE lol)
 

Sarah168

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woah..harsh..you may be right in nerissa being in the wrong by posting your mark {real or not} in public but the rest [Im not even going to bother going through it all because 99% of the post was unnecessarily nasty] is quite uncalled for. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do well and if it costs her her social life and she doesnt care then why should you?

You are one nasty piece of work laracroft...and whether you are smart or whatever is irrelevant so no need to bring that argument back up

Originally posted by laracroft
the fack ...no luk.........
to lighten thing up abit and keep the ext hist forum as cheery as it WAS before...:rofl:
 
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Ziff

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Sex is better than an education?

Right, neanderthal... procreation beats everything! Hurrah! Let's all embrace hedonism! STFU everything else! Very, very shallow...
 
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ameh

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Originally posted by laracroft
nice work SABRINA(Nerissa) u dick head....how dare u talk about my marks behind my back to some girl u dont even know, when ur not even correst in the first place, coz i didnt got 5/10 for ur own information. u have major issues that have to be dealt with, ur innability to be kind, caring and compassionate and the fack that u wouldnt no wat an orgasm was if it hit u in the face!!!(so dont say that 10/10 is beta dan an orgasm coz u wouldnt no!)
"shows how much she knows" well actually i woulnd prefer to know what i know, than be anything like u sabrina, coz u are horrible...all u care for is urself and the fact that u want to come first in every subject, if this is what u go doing in ur spare time, u are goin to have no friends, not that u have any at the moment, coz tlaking about ppl behind their bak, and discussing their anchievements or non achievements, will cause u problems in the future.........
i wish u no luk.........
PS congratulations on ur 10/10 well deserved..........the stresses of substituting a social life, to get 10/10:p

if hanging around someone like u is a social life, then I'd pass
 

some_random

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i think people need to quit critisising the people they don't know.
at least some people actually know the people they are talking to.
so don't assume things..

the topic isn't "slag out everyone who gets lower marks than you"
 

Plebeian

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Originally posted by some_random
i think people need to quit critisising the people they don't know.
at least some people actually know the people they are talking to.
so don't assume things..
Nerissa and Laracroft do know each other. And everyone else who criticised laracroft were responding to her unnecessarily aggressive and nasty post. From her posts in the modern forum it really seems that laracroft is quick to attack people personally (i.e. ad hominem arguments) rather than what they are saying. Her whole post here was one long unsupported piece of rhetoric which IMO didn't make a point. Nerissa probably was wrong to talk about other people's marks without their permission, but her one small statement doesn't justify the huge personal attack which is not constructive at all.

Originally posted by some_random

the topic isn't "slag out everyone who gets lower marks than you"
No-one ever did that... Nerissa beat everyone in her class and she only mentioned laracroft in passing because (it seems) there had been some sort of bad blood beforehand.

This might turn into a bigger argument if everyone keeps posting, but in the absence of a mod for this forum the more senior members (i.e. people with much higher post counts than I) need to ensure that nasty personal attacks are not welcomed. For that reason Sarah168, Ziff and amoz_lilo were justified in criticising someone "they didn't know", IMO. If you could only talk to people on this forum that you knew in person there would be no conversation at all.

Originally posted by laracroft
sarah u wouldnt no wat im like, so dont go calling me nasty
I'm assuming she's going on what you wrote in your posts, which is probably representative of your character. Even if it's not then you only have yourself to blame for appearing nasty.

Originally posted by laracroft
u have no chance in understanding her character, and the fact is not that she doesnt have a social life, but more that the only way she cacan make herself feel beta is by bagging out ppl shes knows, like myself, to absolute strangers, do u have no repect for the ppl that have stood up 4 u at school wen ppl have said ur pathetic?? i was one of those ppl that for a while repected u for ur ability to study so hard, and achieve such outstanding results, but that by no means counteracts ur wretched personailty...not only have u degreaded urself...but u have managed to put urself into a rather uncomfortable position with everyone at school who no knows what ur really like....nice 1 sabrina
ive lost any respect i once had for u,
good luck in the HSC,, not that ull need it, l
ets hope ur 'chronic fatigue' doesnt flare up again:p
and u ppl who think im being slak, u dont even no the beginning of this
Maybe I'm too trusting, but I find it difficult to believe that someone who appears so genuine and willing to give praise on the forum would only be able to make herself feel better by "bagging out people she knows to complete strangers". And that has only happened once, in passing, so your statement is not evidenced by any of Nerissa's behaviour here. You are surprised that people are standing up for Nerissa - you shouldn't be, considering how rude you are and how nice she has been.
One last point - in the modern forum, you were quite happy to support hscfreak when he/she heckled Sarah168 for being politically incorrect by calling you a 'retard'. And yet now you are happy to fling cheap insults about Nerissa's own medical problems - even if it is true.
 
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Sarah168

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Originally posted by laracroft
n also sarah u wouldnt no wat im like, so dont go calling me nasty
Yes. For once you are right. I dont know what you are like and I honestly dont want to find out if this is your attitude. Sure, you may be an angel in real life, but right now, on THIS board, you are being a dick and thats all I have to judge you from, so nasty IS the correct word in this case.

Originally posted by amoz_lilo
if hanging around someone like u is a social life, then I'd pass

owned :D
 

one_second

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I was going to pass this by, but since the odds against lara are not to her favor, I'll make an exception. Okay, first off, I don't know you. I do however know Sabrina and Lara, which may I point out you do not.

"but her one small statement doesn't justify the huge personal attack"

Most of the grade has read through her posts. And just an FYI, Lara may have been rude, but it is justified to an extent. She not only insulted lara, she specifically insulted 6 other additional girls, not to mention she lied about her grades in her subjects, she may be coming first in two subjects, but not by any means all of them. Furthermore, shes also insulted at least two teachers.

"And that has only happened once, in passing,"

You're wrong. To say the least.

"to fling cheap insults"

Get over it. Take a look around you, or else you would have noticed that insults are not being traded by only ONE person. If you want evidence, I shall be sure to provide.

"but right now, on THIS board, you are being a dick "

And the same can be said for yourself.

Anyway, something that was meant to be between two or maybe even three people, has become exagerated. Oh, and yes, you are too trusting.
 

Sarah168

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Originally posted by one_second
"but right now, on THIS board, you are being a dick "

And the same can be said for yourself.

ohhhh the intelligence factor :rolleyes:
 

laracroft

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perhaps my best idea is to not abuse sabrina on this forum, because u ppl have absolutly no idea of her character....her ability to lie to every1 including all u gullable ppl who think she is 'nice'
 
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Sarah168

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Originally posted by laracroft
perhaps my best idea is to not abuse sabrina on this forum, because u ppl have absolutly no idea of her character....her ability to lie to every1 including all u gullable ppl who think she is 'nice'......so ill jsut move this from here to school, where i can abuse sabrina with all the support i can manage, which is the entire year, coz unlike u, we know sabrina for more than what she makes herself out to be
get a grip, will you girl?

you want all the support you can muster? omg, YOU need to get a life. Fight your own battle instead of gathering people from your school to come here to back you up, FFS...
 
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some_random

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Originally posted by Techie
Nerissa and Laracroft do know each other. And everyone else who criticised laracroft were responding to her unnecessarily aggressive and nasty post.
I know both of them too..
i go to school with them both.
And to be perfectly honest, it just looks like everyone is against Lara and on Nerissa's side, which is completely deviod of logic.
Unless you go to our school and know what things are like, there is no way you sholud be commenting on "Nerissa" and "laracroft" 's personalities.

If i were lara, i'd be standing up for myself too.

and i know some of the other girls in that class.
its quite unfair of "Nerissa" to make their GOOD marks seem completely inadequate compared to her full marks.
 
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laracroft

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get a grip on what exactly.?...more likely is the fact that u should b gettin a grip,
u really have no place in this discussion, coz all im waiting for is sabrina(nerissas) reply, not ur pointless commentary
 
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