This a quick draft I've done for my 1/2 yearlys (Belonging) so i've tried to keep it pretty brief without rambling to much.
Please read it over for me and see if you have any pointers
The ground came tumbling towards Kate’s face at an irreversible rate. All rough gravel and jagged edges that bring her to reality.
By managing every lasting bit of energy she puts her strength together and pushes her body of the ground. The distance between Kate and her contender was rapidly closing. She knew that she didn’t have long to force herself back onto that bike.
Kate’s father slams down the newspaper.
‘Look at you, girl.’ You are beautiful he would always say, with hair the colour of the sun. ‘I’m so proud of you. Enjoy your first day, you will knock them out!’
She lets a small smile creep across her face. She has always loved the way her dad made her feel. He would boost her confidence and build her identity. He made her proud of the way they lived, like being unique is a wonderful thing. Kate felt that this place, is with her family is where she truly should be.
She thought to herself, no more Prep, I’m a big kid now. School is going to be great!
The wind stung Kate’s eyes to the point she could no longer stand the itchiness. There are droplets forming around the rims. All she wants to wipe them away the shame but knew as soon she lifts just one hand from the rusty handlebars she will spin out of control once again.
The harsh wind is there, pushing up against the freckles that stretch across her nose, making the clothes sit flat against her chubby body. Forcing her long, luxurious copper hair to be dragged over her shoulders and whip around the straps of her backpack.
‘Hey new girl!’ a howl of the kid behind her, beckoning for her attention.
But she refuses, a momentum pushing her body to force one peddle in front of another.
‘Oui Kate.’
‘What are you afraid of?’ Another kid yells.
Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you. Right?
The insults are now flying at her back. No, they are pelting. Like a full force hail storm with nothing able to prevent it. These are words that have an ability to crush everything particularly fragile in its path.
Kate has never cared before what people thought of her. But she came to this new place to make friends, to have a positive experience. The type of friends she used to hang around didn’t care about the petty things. Especially the colour of her hair and the way it curls way down to her ribs. She was so excited at the idea of late night movie nights and painting nails the colour of rainbows.
But those dreams have been blown apart and the lasting dust fragments are not even visible anymore. They have been replaced by a group of boys eating away her dignity. Forcing her identity to be swallowed up by the sea of hopelessness that lies ahead.
At the entrance to the gates there is a frenzy of children, most of whom are relatively larger than Kate, they are swarming. Butterflies searching for the honey, just like the ones in Kate’s stomach.
She slides out of the backseat to wave off her parents’ wishes of luck. If anyone can handle it, Kate can. With a bounce in her step she makes it to her classroom, 1C, with absolutely no worries.
‘Welcome everything, this is Kate. Please by nice to her.’ A middle aged woman who appeared to be Miss Carol pleasantly indicated to take a seat.
“Dommie’s Seat! If you sit here, you’re in trouble” The graffiti scrolled across the desk read.
Kate shrugged her shoulders and sat down anyway.
*need another paragraph here
Kate and her family used to go on day outings. Maybe a picnic at the park or skipping stones into the wild sea from the North Wall. Usually riding our bikes in everything possible street. But this particular day, there was someone above the clouds that was angry. Swelling so full it looked like the black clouds could drop at any moment. A rumble of mocking laughter teases us.
Then the rain comes, advancing from us not 10 yards away. A huge wall of force appearing from all angles, closing them in with no direction to run.
The group of kids are now surrounding Kate. She can tell by the look in their eyes they do not mean well. Like a pack of kelpies, snarling at one helpless sheep. What has she done wrong? Does she really deserve this?
‘Oui Ranga’
‘You’re not so smart now, are you?’ Dominic asks.
For the last time Kate goes back to the past. Her vision fills with memories of her family, all good ones ofcourse.
These images flashing before her eyes. Revealing sunny days with Kate and her mothers’ smile stretching forever, our shining new bicycles begging for the first ride.
‘Its too soon,’ she thinks to herself ‘I’m not ready for this kind of ending’
Please read it over for me and see if you have any pointers
The ground came tumbling towards Kate’s face at an irreversible rate. All rough gravel and jagged edges that bring her to reality.
By managing every lasting bit of energy she puts her strength together and pushes her body of the ground. The distance between Kate and her contender was rapidly closing. She knew that she didn’t have long to force herself back onto that bike.
~
Kate’s father slams down the newspaper.
‘Look at you, girl.’ You are beautiful he would always say, with hair the colour of the sun. ‘I’m so proud of you. Enjoy your first day, you will knock them out!’
She lets a small smile creep across her face. She has always loved the way her dad made her feel. He would boost her confidence and build her identity. He made her proud of the way they lived, like being unique is a wonderful thing. Kate felt that this place, is with her family is where she truly should be.
She thought to herself, no more Prep, I’m a big kid now. School is going to be great!
~
The wind stung Kate’s eyes to the point she could no longer stand the itchiness. There are droplets forming around the rims. All she wants to wipe them away the shame but knew as soon she lifts just one hand from the rusty handlebars she will spin out of control once again.
The harsh wind is there, pushing up against the freckles that stretch across her nose, making the clothes sit flat against her chubby body. Forcing her long, luxurious copper hair to be dragged over her shoulders and whip around the straps of her backpack.
‘Hey new girl!’ a howl of the kid behind her, beckoning for her attention.
But she refuses, a momentum pushing her body to force one peddle in front of another.
‘Oui Kate.’
‘What are you afraid of?’ Another kid yells.
~
Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you. Right?
~
The insults are now flying at her back. No, they are pelting. Like a full force hail storm with nothing able to prevent it. These are words that have an ability to crush everything particularly fragile in its path.
Kate has never cared before what people thought of her. But she came to this new place to make friends, to have a positive experience. The type of friends she used to hang around didn’t care about the petty things. Especially the colour of her hair and the way it curls way down to her ribs. She was so excited at the idea of late night movie nights and painting nails the colour of rainbows.
But those dreams have been blown apart and the lasting dust fragments are not even visible anymore. They have been replaced by a group of boys eating away her dignity. Forcing her identity to be swallowed up by the sea of hopelessness that lies ahead.
~
At the entrance to the gates there is a frenzy of children, most of whom are relatively larger than Kate, they are swarming. Butterflies searching for the honey, just like the ones in Kate’s stomach.
She slides out of the backseat to wave off her parents’ wishes of luck. If anyone can handle it, Kate can. With a bounce in her step she makes it to her classroom, 1C, with absolutely no worries.
‘Welcome everything, this is Kate. Please by nice to her.’ A middle aged woman who appeared to be Miss Carol pleasantly indicated to take a seat.
“Dommie’s Seat! If you sit here, you’re in trouble” The graffiti scrolled across the desk read.
Kate shrugged her shoulders and sat down anyway.
~
*need another paragraph here
~
Kate and her family used to go on day outings. Maybe a picnic at the park or skipping stones into the wild sea from the North Wall. Usually riding our bikes in everything possible street. But this particular day, there was someone above the clouds that was angry. Swelling so full it looked like the black clouds could drop at any moment. A rumble of mocking laughter teases us.
Then the rain comes, advancing from us not 10 yards away. A huge wall of force appearing from all angles, closing them in with no direction to run.
~
The group of kids are now surrounding Kate. She can tell by the look in their eyes they do not mean well. Like a pack of kelpies, snarling at one helpless sheep. What has she done wrong? Does she really deserve this?
‘Oui Ranga’
‘You’re not so smart now, are you?’ Dominic asks.
~
For the last time Kate goes back to the past. Her vision fills with memories of her family, all good ones ofcourse.
These images flashing before her eyes. Revealing sunny days with Kate and her mothers’ smile stretching forever, our shining new bicycles begging for the first ride.
‘Its too soon,’ she thinks to herself ‘I’m not ready for this kind of ending’
