Assistance in writing an introduction to the comparative study of Richard III (1 Viewer)

[Green024]

Hey, im just doing a practise question for the 2012 Module A question, comparing Richard III and Looking for Richard. The question is:
Our interest in the parallels between King Richard III and Looking for Richard is further enhanced by consideration of their marked differences in textual form. Evaluate this statement.

I have completed my introduction for the task, any opinions on it would be greatly appreciated.

The human audience is a fickle thing; a mass mob of emotion and opinion, it becomes a raging beast not to be quelled or provoked. In providing for such a horde producing an engaging performance is f absolute paramount, with the represented medium particular in generating interest. The parallels between ‘Richard III’ and ‘Looking for Richard,’ by Wiliam Shakespeare and Al Pacino respectively reflect such a statement. By reintroducing Richard in the visual medium of film, Pacino has effectively enhanced the respective audience’s interest in the piece by representing character, motive and theme in a way almost incomprehensive when viewed in written form.

 

[strawberrye]

One thing I can commend you on is that you have strive to use formal language in your introduction which is very good since essay writing is a form of written art. Good effort so far-hope my advice will be of some help

Below are some quick advice I would give you to assist you to improve your introduction:
1)Your first sentence is not very relevant to the module rubric at all, the first sentence of your introduction should be related to the module, for example, in this case, you would state something along the lines of texts being a reflection of the societal context they were created within, and through a comparative study of texts composed within different contexts and mediums, the responder can develop a deeper understanding of the timeless human concerns that resonates with the contemporary context... (you need to be showing your understanding of the module, remember, this module is called comparative study of context-so context is at the core of it, yet you have placed audience as your focus in your introduction, which is delineating from the rubric and question)

2)When you mentioned about generating interests, you should have been much more specific in generating interests in whom and clarifying what is the composer's purpose of generating interest?

3)Since this is a comparative study of CONTEXT module, you should give a brief comparison of the distinctive context the two texts were composed within, furthermore, you should have referenced both texts using double inverted commas instead of single inverted commas. In addition, you should have placed the year the texts were first produced/composed in brackets after the title of the text.

4)You need to actually outline what sort of thematic concerns are enhanced by a comparison of both texts, right now your introduction is basically very vague without directly answering the question in an insightful manner, there is also a very important point you are missing, the whole point of doing a comparative study module is to highlight how study of two texts enhances our understanding of human concerns, nowhere in the rubric did it require you to make a judgment about which text is better and why-this is not the point of the module, and yet you have made such a judgment in your introduction when you clearly are saying that Pacino's text was better and more powerful than Shakespeare's original play when you stated 'almost incomprehensive when viewed in written form'.

Overall, you need to deconstruct the essay question much deeper and ask yourself just how does the different mediums the text were composed in relate to the different context they were produced within and how does these different mediums enables timeless human concerns to resonate and transcends beyond their contextual contexts.

Hope this helps

 

[Mdyeow]

Agree with strawberrye - don't waste your first sentence. Ask yourself: what's your answer to the question? At the moment, there's no clear sense of that answer (your thesis) in the opening paragraph. Phrases like "reflect such a statement" are obtuse: their meaning isn't immediately clear, which can confuse the attention-poor marker. "Generating interest" is vague: what generates interest? It's certainly not just that it's a film (there are lots of boring films out there). So what about its filmic treatment makes the audience sit up and take notice?

Try and answer in a way which actually gives some sort of opinion, as concisely as possible. So something like "The 'behind-the-scenes' aspect of Looking for Richard makes us question, and want to know more about, how works of literature are actually constructed - something which Shakespeare's play does but in a more subtle capacity."

Focus on getting your first sentence into a clear, coherent answer/opinion. The rest will flow from there.

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