assessment help (1 Viewer)

2022hsc

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I have an english assignment due tomorrow and have almost finished both the pieces, but theres this one sentence in my creative piece that needs a simile or technique of some sort to round it off and I can not think of one to fit for the life of me;

I observed the onrush of empty spaces, becoming bleaker as we sped away. The vast and frenzied New York City slipped further and further out of sight in the rear view mirror like SIMILE

If any one has any ideas please help (I of course won't copy, just need ideas) I want to be done with this creative lol
 

nilatar

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I dunno but I know for sure @nilatar can give you some ideas 😂
That, I thought... But it appears @2022hsc's blankness is contagious, because I'm struggling to muster up anything, too...

Only idea I've had is perhaps the vibrancy of a city like NYC would, in the distance, look like a firecracker / sparkler... So in the event that the city is furthering out of focus, perhaps it could be "like a withering / dwindling firecracker..." / "like a withering firecracker in a plethora of blackness."
Mediocre at most but that's all I can gather.

EDIT: I just realized I assumed the setting was after dusk. In the event that it's not, disregard my example.
 
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2022hsc

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That, I thought... But it appears @2022hsc's blankness is contagious, because I'm struggling to muster up anything, too...

Only idea I've had is perhaps the vibrancy of a city like NYC would, in the distance, look like a firecracker / sparkler... So in the event that the city is furthering out of focus, perhaps it could be "like a withering / dwindling firecracker..." / "like a withering firecracker in a plethora of blackness."
Mediocre at most but that's all I can gather.

EDIT: I just realized I assumed the setting was after dusk. In the event that it's not, disregard my example.
At that point a storm is rolling overhead and so it would essentially be dark haha
Also, your writing is amazing, thank you for your idea!
 

jimmysmith560

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If only Agatha Christie didn’t hit the deck nearly four decades before I came around... However, Camus, I heard, learnt from @jimmysmith560 and his art with the French language...
Normally I don’t take compliments lower than Victor Hugo, but I shall accept it this time.

1623157748660.jpeg
 

Eagle Mum

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Did you depict NYC positively or negatively in your creative writing piece? If it was mostly positive, then consider ‘disappearing like Camelot in the mists of Avalon’ or ‘like Camelot, shrouded once more by the mists of Avalon’.
 

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