My English (1 Viewer)

z600

Sigh.....
Joined
Feb 18, 2006
Messages
821
Gender
Male
HSC
2008
I posted a passage i wrote for Robert Frost's poem. The reason behind this is that i am worried that my english isnt really good. Next year I am moving to a more competitive school, i just want to make sure I am not laggin behind. If it's pretty bad, any thoughts on how to improve?

Thanks
 

hyparzero

BOS Male Prostitute
Joined
Sep 10, 2005
Messages
246
Location
Wankersville
Gender
Female
HSC
2006
Your work is very solid, however, I am not an english nerd, but I can suggest the following:

Refrain from always using ('In the “xxxxxxxx”, Frost does.....' etc etc ) to start off each interpretation. Also, each of your sentences are a tad too short.

I'll rewrite one of your paragraphs for you..

ORIGINAL
=======
The “Mending Wall” by Robert Frost describes the stubbornness and ignorance of individuals. Frost sees the unnecessary use of the wall. The setting of spring gives the sense of new year’s beginning. The two neighbours are bought together by the annual mending of the wall. Frost complained regarding the necessity of the wall. He states that the wall serves no purpose. This neighbours simply gives the explanation of “Good fences makes good neighbours.” The neighbours unwilling to give in to Frost’s reasoning, keeps to this own philosophy.

NEW PARAGRAPH
=============
The superficial naivety and the ignorance of individuals are explored in the “Mending Wall” by Robert Frost as he questions the unnecessary existence of a wall. In the eyes of the neighbours; the wall is a philosophical phenomenon, the icon of togetherness and the catalyst for interconnecting ideologies. However Frost implicitly criticizes the necessity of such a boundaries, and this is manifested through the neighbour’s ironic statement “Good fences makes good neighbours.”
Clearly, a good fence shall not need annual mendings.


Btw, i've never done Robert Frost in my life, so I have no idea. I've simply reworded what you said.

Hope that helped.
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Top